Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize