I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize