I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize