hotel room ftw
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
