HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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