he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My cat gives me a boner
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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