You're earring is so big in my mouth
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
