Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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