you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
