just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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