can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
