they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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