I hope mine doesn't look like that
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize