I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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