How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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