at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
