just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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