Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
