why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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