When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
