She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
