New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
