im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
