there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
