I could have mohawked her pubes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
