it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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