I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
