A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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