Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
