You're so nebulous sometimes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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