you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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