just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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