This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
