I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize