I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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