When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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