I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
