it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
