i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
