Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
