i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everything about him screamed your future.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
