did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
do nipples grow back?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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