We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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