Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
A+ Viking dick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
