I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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