R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
