Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
