can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize