on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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