May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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