I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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