and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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