I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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