I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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