i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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