you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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