There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
