Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
