Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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