Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
