the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
