His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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