Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
