Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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