Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
